Struggling.

Alriiiiggght. The summer is over, I haven't written anything here since June and absolutely nothing has changed. And I'm feeling sad. Really, really inexplicably sad.

And, I don't know why.

The big change hasn't happened yet, its not looming, its not coming over the horizon, its not even a twinkle in my eye yet and I am SO BAD at starting things on my own. I just don't know what to do about my incredibly boring, stagnant life. And to top it off, I am suddenly feeling as if my own personality is a huge reason for the lack of change. As if I am the actual problem to my problem. And, if I'm the problem, that's another problem.

It's hard to explain. I don't know why I think I'm boring. I can carry on a conversation, I have amusing anecdotes (see getting robbed by a wheelchair bound person), I have topics to talk about....but.... I'm boring. Or at least feel it. And not having the confidence in yourself to be interesting is a problem, bottom line. And this isn't something I can talk to anyone about because no one will listen to this kind of whining without interjections of "No, you're hilarious" or listing off things I have going for me and that just doesn't help. Not that I know what would help. What do you do if you think you're a boring person? What if you're not only bored of your life but of yourself? Do I need to overhaul my life, my outlook AND my self? How can I change things if I'm not completely happy with myself?

This is whiny and uninteresting, sorry.