Stuck.

So, to recap, I want a change. I need a change. I don't know how to go about achieving this alteration, but I really really want one. 

Thus far, the score is Amazing-Life-Altering-Change: 0, and consequently, Juliana:0.

My biggest problem?

I. Don't. Know. How. To.

How? When? What? I don't know the way about doing it or what I want the change to be or even the magnitude of the change. How scared do I want to be?

Because really that's what it comes down to. I need to be scared of the change, I need to not know the outcome, I need to be unsure. I want to be scared. But nothing is just coming to me, I have sat and waited for change but it hasn't just come knocking at my door. So, that would mean I have to induce the change myself, I have to make it happen and I have to make it happen for me.  And again, I'm stuck at "How?" "When?" "WHAT?!" 

So, that is my predicament of late. I would say it is pretty significant but in the grand scheme of things, I'm okay. 

Annnnywwwaaaayyyy, at the end of the week, I'm going camping at a music festival this weekend, and I have to drive down -- it's four hours long and I am terrified because I've never driven A) that long B) on a freeway C) I'm horrible at merging. So, there's some fear that I can overcome... yay?