Struggling.

Alriiiiggght. The summer is over, I haven't written anything here since June and absolutely nothing has changed. And I'm feeling sad. Really, really inexplicably sad.

And, I don't know why.

The big change hasn't happened yet, its not looming, its not coming over the horizon, its not even a twinkle in my eye yet and I am SO BAD at starting things on my own. I just don't know what to do about my incredibly boring, stagnant life. And to top it off, I am suddenly feeling as if my own personality is a huge reason for the lack of change. As if I am the actual problem to my problem. And, if I'm the problem, that's another problem.

It's hard to explain. I don't know why I think I'm boring. I can carry on a conversation, I have amusing anecdotes (see getting robbed by a wheelchair bound person), I have topics to talk about....but.... I'm boring. Or at least feel it. And not having the confidence in yourself to be interesting is a problem, bottom line. And this isn't something I can talk to anyone about because no one will listen to this kind of whining without interjections of "No, you're hilarious" or listing off things I have going for me and that just doesn't help. Not that I know what would help. What do you do if you think you're a boring person? What if you're not only bored of your life but of yourself? Do I need to overhaul my life, my outlook AND my self? How can I change things if I'm not completely happy with myself?

This is whiny and uninteresting, sorry.

Ugh.

So, uh, yeah. It's been a while. 

Whoops.

It's also been really busy, and I realize that no one reads this so it doesn't matter if I blog once a day or once a year, but I still feel like I should keep more on top of it. Check my old diaries, if there were long gaps between entries, I would apologize... to myself. 

It's been good and busy. The new job is fantastic, I am really getting into the swing of things, I think and its been a really good change of pace. I also worked Thursday through Monday, which is a change from the once a week I was getting from the old job, but essentially, this equals more money, so I really can't really complain about getting the big bucks*, now can I?

School sucks. I have class for 4 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I am so uninvolved with it that I keep forgetting that I am actually enrolled in classes. Which is not really the best way to do it, but whatever.

In other news, me and my besties are taking an 11 hour bus ride to see a band that we love. We pretty much have it all planned, the hotel, the bus tickets, the concert tickets and we're filling up the other four days that we're going with lots of stuff pretty quickly. I. Am. So. Stoked. 

Really nothing else to report, I didn't even really put any effort in this (if you can't tell from the lack of continuity and awkward wording)

Aaaaaannnyyywwwaaaayyyy.

*Oh right, and AHAHAHAHAHA-NOT.

Joe Chachi?

Well, hello there.

Having a blog has really made me incredibly aware of how simple and uneventful my life is. I have few anecdotes and there's a certain sludge of day-to-day routine that makes blogging daily a mundane task. Because I don't have any artsy-crafty skill, I can't just post my art with an "ENJOY" caption. Because I don't critique something (TV, movies, books, etc.) I don't have a something always ready at my disposal to write about.

Soooooooooooooooo

I'm often left with nothing to write about and a blog left dormant. Whoops.

I do want to know this, however, what does it mean if you call someone a Joe Chachi? Urban dictionary does not have an entry, and I've asked everyone what it means. Context:

Guy In my Class: OH MY GAWD. I am so tired and hungover.

Me: Oh yeah, what did you get up to last night?

G.I.M.C: Oh, it was my buddy's amateur strip night show at [local gay club]

Me: Oh, I've never been to [local gay club], i was think of going on Tuesday [straight night], is it worth it?

G.I.M.C: Oh, no, no, no. Do not go to there, it's totally filled with Joe Chachis.

Me: What's a Joe-

Teacher: Alright class, we are going to continue in chapter seven today....

I asked him after class too, but he refused to tell me. He said that if I went to the club I would immediately understand what he meant, but I don't know if I will and I would rather go there, on the lookout for the elusive Joe Chachi than go and not know what Im looking for. I think I'm going to harass him next class and see what it means. Inquiring minds need to know!!!!!

First Day On a Brand New Planet

Okay, not really at all. But today was my first day at the new Job. And because I live like 2 minutes from it, go in every morning for a coffee and snack and am close friends with one of the employees and know the rest by name and live in the neighbourhood, it wasn't as scary as a new job usually is, or should be. Minus the fact that I've never ever ever worked in anything but retail, or for that matter, had a job anywhere but that of Old Job. (which I might hold on to and work at like, once a week, to keep the wicked awesome discount, I haven't decided yet) Annywaaay, it was good. I felt like I was doing everything super slowly and I just might have accidently given someone too many shots of espresso in their coffee, but otherwise I did most things right and apparently I was one of the quicker learners there (hard to believe, because I still can't tell the different breads and strudels apart, but okay, whatever) 

I think it will be a good change of pace though, and that first step I need to making lots.  Which I still want to do, and then when I see someone who who I haven't seen for a long time, instead of the standard answer of "Nothing" to the "What's new?" I can instead provide a lengthy list. Yay! 

Okay, that's really all I have to say...

FIN.

Summer To Do List

Summer 2009 To Do List

1. Get a new job.
2. Go to Sasquatch.
3. Go camping.
4. Go to my cabin with friends
5. Go to my friend's cabin.
6. Go bungee jumping
7. Go river rafting
8. Farming experience program.
9. Get a tan (almost impossible, I went to Mexico in April and have nothing to show for it, but a girl can dream right?)
10. Get back in shape.
11. Lots and lots of beach days.
12. Swim in a lake, find a great lake nearby that I don't have to drive for two hours to get to
13. Do the Grouse Grind.
14. Read tons.
15. Have a theme party (I have SO many bouncing around in my head... Dress As Yourself 10 Years Ago, Tacky Tourist Party, Rubix Cube Party...etc.)
16. Achieve the big change.
17. Go hiking
18. Go to the island.
19. Skinny dip.
20. Spend less time on the computer.
21. Go to Mexico.
22. Go to the local fair/ amusement park
23. Make ice cream.
24. Go to local shows.
25. Spend a day with absolutely no time restrictions or obligations.
26. Picnic.
27. Wear dresses
28. Go karting
29. BBQ
30. ...

To be continued....

Things are Going Well?

I got a new job, my first day is on Sunday, I don't know what to do with my old one yet, but OF COURSE, old work started scheduling me loads this week, and scheduling was one of the reasons I needed to leave, so OF COURSE that would happen now. New job: check.

That drive to the music festival that was scaring the shiitake mushrooms out of me? I nailed it. I merged seamlessly and didn't even get lost once, and even drove, y'know, fast, which I was having trouble doing on the practice run ( i couldn't get faster than 90KM/HR, but on my way i got to 140KM) Not only did I rock it on the big roadtrip, i also drove down to the states to shop yesterday too, just for kicks, which I also rocked, minus the time I missed the exit for the actual place we were going to. Driving experience/ Road Trip and Mini Road trip/ Life experience/Chilling with my BFFs: check.

That's pretty much all I got in new and exciting news, but the weather is swelteringly hot, I am regularly working out and feeling pretty good about it, AND I've got a camping trip, river rafting trip, bungee jumping excursion and farm experience trip in the works for this summer.

Sometimes, life just works.

Realizations, or something like it.

I keep writing about the big change that I'm waiting for, the change that I'm hoping for, the change that I'm hoping to cause. But today I was thinking about how I was waiting for the change, and besides applying to jobs like crazy, I haven't really been doing much to cause the change. I've just been waiting for it to hit me, sweep me up and take me away. And it's not coming.

I think a huge majority of people in this world are in the same place as me in this respect. People waiting for the big change, the climatic Hollywood moment were everything changes. And this waiting is how life passes them, us, by. We are so preoccupied with something miraculous arriving on our doorstep to transform our lives for good that we miss the ride. We're so busy waiting for the change to come that it goes unrealized that we, in fact, need to cause it. I think I'm becoming dangerously close to sounding like a cliche, but it's hard to express without the typical "Life is short, make it count" spiel. Because, if it's going to happen, I have to do it, I have to make it happen.

Okay, just a short blurb about my being a Hallmark card. 

Finales

I read other people's blogs and I realize that my life is quite boring. Psh. I can't remember anything of importance that I did this week, besides the job hunt, practicing merging on the highway and watching season finales. Oh, I went to the beach after going to the bar, which finally made it feel like summer. 

But what I want to talk about is season finales. You (elusive, possibly nonexistent you) don't know this about me, but I am obsessive about television. Obsessive may seem like a little bit of an intense word choice, but I promise you, it is no hyperbole. It started with the OC in grade 9 and I watched every single episode, twice, three times. One Tree Hill was my next baby, and with this one I spent time of forums and read spoilers. Veronica Mars, Gilmore Girls, Joan of Arcadia, Friends, Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, How I Met Your Mother, The Office,  and Arrested Development later, I can pretty much call myself a television aficionado. I am hardcore. I watch every episode, I hang through bad sweeps and story arcs, I have sidereel.com bookmarked permanently on my broswer, obsessive really is the only word that can describe it.

So, season finales are a big deal for me; and this year, they kinda sucked, with the exception of one, so here it is, a list (in no particular order) of my dissection of the season finales of 2009.

I. Am. So. Lame.

The Office- I love love love this show. I think it's hilarious and amazing and I watched 4 seasons in like a week and half over Christmas break. I have a massive crush on Jim and I love Dwight. That said, I found season 5... weak. I loved the Jim/Pam engagement, I loved the Michael Scott Paper Company, the one liners seemed to be getting better (somehow, I don't know how), but the season as a whole just lagged. The season finale was lackluster as well, with the office going to the company picnic and playing a game of intense volleyball. Highlights: Dwight stalling (how many people need to get hurt? One? Two? Three? Four? Five?! Six?!), Toby and the HR guy talking in the most monotone voices about the hilarious HR retreat, and of course the PB & J pregnancy. John Krasinski did an amazing job with that one, and I think the scene really benefited from the audience not being able to hear it.

Out of 10, 10 being out of this world amazing, I give it a 5.

One Tree Hill- It is first important to note, that after 6 intense years with the OTH gang, I stopped watching this season. It was just too bad and too uninteresting. But, I decided for old times sake to watch the finale, with my friend explaining everything to me-- for an idea for how out of it I was, I didn't know about Peyton's weird pregnancy thing. But, my question is, was this the series finale? They all ended happily! There was no cliffhanger, everyone was with their respective someone, no one died and forgiveness and happiness was achieved. What. The.Hell. If this was the season finale and not the series finale it was the worse thing ever, on the epic scale at least. I give it a 2 out of 10.

Gossip Girl- this show just hasn't been doing it for me as of late, but like the Office, the last little bit of it made up for the whole thing. Yes, that means I'm a Chuck and Blair fan, a fact I only recently found out. They were just sooo cute. The rest of the episode was drama filled, but because there wasn't a solution to the "WHO IS GOSSIP GIRL?" mystery, it was kind of a waste. Also, it totally went over my head that the Lily and Rufus' son was that random kid in the coffee shop. It's sort of a show I think I'm going to stop watching. 4/10.

How I Met Your Mother-  I love this show. I love this show. It's hilarious and I love all the characters, but it also was lacking. I mean, I enjoyed it overall, and I thought the Barney/Robin storyline fit them really well... but very little was solved. The cliffhanger of "your mother was in that class" was fitting for the show, but also not very exciting. I don't know, I just felt it could have been .... better.  Out of 10, it gets a 4.5.

Grey's Anatomy- This episode knocked my socks off. It was fantastic, the twist at the end made it, but I think that because the beginning was a little slow it made the ending so much more urgent. I did not see it coming, some people say that they did, but it completely went over my head. I was bawling like a baby, and bawling might even been an understatement. I was sobbing. It started with Bailey and the chief's conversation, with her crying and it went right on for like 5 minutes after. I have a theory about who died/who lived which i hurriedly typed up in a facebook message to my friend, which I might copy and paste to the bottom of this post. And the Lexie/Mark story line? Adorable.  Derek/Meredith marriage? Fantastic, so cute. Callie and Arizona are feeling a little stale for me, they keep having the same drawn out argument and then coming back together. Out of 10, this finale gets a 10.

90210- This, like the rest of the season, was awful. The acting seemed to get worse (Naomi screaming at Annie to get out, and then Annie's fuming cry/smolder thing? What was that?) The cliffhanger of Liam getting taken away? Couldn't care less. Out of 10? 1; and only because they were wearing fancy prom attire throughout.

Anyway, I think that's all the finales I watched; minus 30 Rock, which was really awesome but wasn't something I could really blurb about. 

AND NOW (drumroll, please) Juliana's (Juliana!) Amazing (Amazing!) Grey's (Grey's!) Prediction (Prediction!) {that was supposed to be an echo, in case that wasn't clear}

I started thinking about the finale and how they could totally cop out and one of them could be alive still.
Unfortunately I can think of it either way, just listen and then im going to sleep--if the drumming stops{my neighbours were having a drawn out engagement party next door, and it was 3AM, I was more than a little annoyed}

IZZIE DEAD, GEORGE ALIVE: she's wearing the prom dress, going to see denny, because thats what she was wearing when she was going to see him when he was dead and if she's going to see denny then shes dead too. George is on the floor and shes in the elevator, hes in the light and shes moving away from it. He seems calm and collected like he's sending her off and she seems confused and a little out of it because shes dying. He's wearing the uniform because he is going to continue living and fulfill his destiny of being a army doctor.

GEORGE DEAD, IZZIE ALIVE: He's on the floor because he's already dead and she's in the elevator travelling back to alive-ness. he's wearing the uniform because he died honourably. He seems calm b/c he already knows he's dead and she's confused because she's in that stage between awake and dead. 

ON THE OTHER HAND THOUGH
If he dies, then he will just go to war anyway OR not be able to operate anymore because his arm is so severely bunged up, so we lose him regardless. This might be the better way to go. UNLESS they save him, and reconstruct his face so a new actor plays George, but TR is out of the picture- I really hope that's not the one, that would be so weak.

Shonda Rhimes in an interview said that at the beginning of the season the last ten minutes is what she pitched and George got such little air time this season so the audience wouldnt notice that he was missing in such a huge chunk of it in the finale, which by the way TOTALLY WORKED.

Okay, rant done. 

and i'm leaving tomorrow-wish me luck!

Taking The Leap, Okay, Babystepping Towards the Big Leap

I revamped my resume, wrote kick ass cover letters and applied to three jobs yesterday. I am going to go to a grocery store in the cute trendy part of town later today and drop off a resume. I am on the move. Watch me go.

Stuck.

So, to recap, I want a change. I need a change. I don't know how to go about achieving this alteration, but I really really want one. 

Thus far, the score is Amazing-Life-Altering-Change: 0, and consequently, Juliana:0.

My biggest problem?

I. Don't. Know. How. To.

How? When? What? I don't know the way about doing it or what I want the change to be or even the magnitude of the change. How scared do I want to be?

Because really that's what it comes down to. I need to be scared of the change, I need to not know the outcome, I need to be unsure. I want to be scared. But nothing is just coming to me, I have sat and waited for change but it hasn't just come knocking at my door. So, that would mean I have to induce the change myself, I have to make it happen and I have to make it happen for me.  And again, I'm stuck at "How?" "When?" "WHAT?!" 

So, that is my predicament of late. I would say it is pretty significant but in the grand scheme of things, I'm okay. 

Annnnywwwaaaayyyy, at the end of the week, I'm going camping at a music festival this weekend, and I have to drive down -- it's four hours long and I am terrified because I've never driven A) that long B) on a freeway C) I'm horrible at merging. So, there's some fear that I can overcome... yay?

Downhill Day

I hate it when people think they know my personality better than I do. 

Sorry, having a bit of a day.

This will make me feel better. 

Three Cheers For Long Winded Stories No One Cares About!

My class got cancelled today and OF COURSE I was already at school, with no novel to read for fun or textbooks to read for ... not fun -- and I have a two hour wait! Blegh. So instead, I'm going to tell the story about me and writing. Kay?

I am in possession of the perfect childhood story that would be great if I became a writer. It's makes for an amazing "About the Author" blurb on the back of the book; I can actually see it in my mind. But with age, I have become more and more detatched and less confident in my writing abilities, so maybe it will just be the story I tell people instead of being presented on the back cover under a nonchalant-but-obviously-posed picture of my face.

So here it goes:

I was the kid who wrote and wrote and wrote -- and when she wasn't writing "great stories" she was reading great stories. I was writing stories before I could write and my mother still has the pages of swiggly lines or made up letters (my father called them my hieroglyphic writing-I twisted 5s and Js around so they were unrecognizable) to prove it. After finishing a "story" I would hold the pages in front of me as if they weren't all jibberish and "read" them to whichever parent or family member would listen. The same pages could produce a story about a princess followed by a story about an ant, it didn't matter. Stories were pouring out of my ears and I was making stuff up as I went. I was writing before I could write.

At the tender age of ten, I announced to my family that I had my life plan all ready and that I would "Teach elementary school during the school year and write best selling novels during the summer." Yes, that is correct: "best selling novels", oh my, I was a modest child.

As soon as I could write, the writing of stories continued full force. I would get those writing notebooks from school and fill pages and pages of stories, often incredibly complicated ones. Most of them are cheesy and predictable, but they are so much fun to go back and reread, because they take me back. I can remember myself agonizing over word choice and what to name my characters, and they were most often named after people in my life at the time. Often I would consult a thesaurus and as a result the page would be littered with big, complicated words that I sometimes don't understand now.

It was in grade 4 & 5 that the best teacher in the world heard about my dream to be a writer, and she was super supportive. She would read my stories and help with the grammar and spelling and leave page-long notes on the last page addressing any plot holes or character questions-- in short she was amazing. My elementary school was K-5, so when I "graduated" from grade 5 and she gave everyone a little grab bag with notes to each individual student, and in mine it said "When your first book gets published, I'll be there to buy one on the first day. Thanks for a great two years and good luck with your writing, you can do it."

After that, it all went downhill. I went into grade 6 & 7 with excitement, but really got very little support on writing, and in these years became more busy, still writing stories but with less ferocious vigor.

In high school, I got little to no recognition and it was suddenly "uncool" to be so excited about "school stuff", not that this completely deterred me, but I wouldn't annouce the story I was writing about and the glowing notes on my essays and written work became much less frequent. Other kids were chosen for writing seminars and I was thrown so deeply into the world of organized sport and extracirriculars that I barely had time to churn out stories on a regular basis. My high school had a school newspaper for about 6 months, in which I wrote a few articles, but it was so disorganized, that in the 6 months it was running, only 4 issues came out. This is not to say that some teachers didn't support my writing, it was just more hit and miss, my literature teacher liked my writing, but my English 12 teacher hated it.

I do have one from high school, a little (and by little I mean 45 pages on MS Word in 12point font) story I wrote about cloning and espionage, but the old homage "write what you know" really really really applies there, and when I read it, I can't decide if it's complete and utter crap or actually kind of good. In the two years I've been in college, I have written countless essays, but no stories -- and this blog has been the jumping off point to get back into the creative writing pool. I honestly have no idea if I'm a good writer or not, but my regularly good english marks do suggest that I'm not horrible at it and I think that if I use this as an outlet, I could maybe get the juices flowing again. I'm also thinking of taking a creative writing class in the fall, and maybe determine if I have talent (and if I enjoy it) once and for all.

I still would love to become a writer, if not for the fact that I enjoy writing, but maybe just because I have a great About the Author blurb all ready for me. Something like that can't just go to waste, can it?

Lazy.

 I really feel like blogging, I really do. I want to write and tell a story of some sort. But I am exhausted. I went on a four hour bike ride today which I followed with the fitness class that kicks my ass on a weekly basis. My muscles are aching and my eyes are heavy, I want to blog but if I do, it will be shit. So, I'm going to write a list of my favourite (my spell check is telling me the spelling on this is wrong, but I am going to go all Canada on you, what!?) awful television shows as of right now:

5) The Big Bang Theory

4) John & Kate Plus Eight

3)Gossip Girl

2)90210

1) The Hills

There. I am now good and embarrassed. 

Motorized scooters FTL

I was robbed.

Today I was robbed by a 65+ woman on a scooter. FML.

First, it is important to distinguish one fact: by scooter, I mean electronic wheelchair. I do not mean vespa or a Razor scooter. Nothing nearly that cool. I mean the too-old-to-walk-too-old-to-push-themselves-in-a-proper-wheelchair scooter. 

And secondly, it is important to differentiate between being "robbed" and being "mugged", . Mugged has a degree of attack to it, a face to face confrontation, the person is wearing a ski mask in July feel. You know, New York stuff. Being robbed is sneaking in and swiping someone's personal property whilst the owner is far away and not at all a threat. Being mugged has a slightly more glamourous feel to it, except when it is followed "by a woman in an electronic wheelchair who was pushing 70." I was robbed, not mugged, let's get that clear.

Okay, so to explain.

My workplace has a donation centre in the back of the basement which looks like a large open garage area that opens to the alley. On a weekday, there is anywhere from 20-30 people working in this area, but on the weekends, there can be as few as 2. Today, being the weekend, 2 of my coworkers were working the basement and both of them were preoccupied with other things. At the far end of the basement, is our lunchroom and that is where my bag was left as prey. At approximately 2PM, (as seen on surveillance footage after the fact) a old woman with frizzy hair, scooted in through the back door and high tailed it for my lunchroom. She then stands up from her scooter (which I suppose makes it more of a getaway car than anything else, right?) and snatches my purse, turns, looks at the camera and then scoots (such a weird verb to use) back through the door, just as one of my coworkers makes her way to the lunchroom. My coworker, confused by a random woman in our back basement area asks the woman if she needs any help and the woman says "Just looking for something" and then picks up speed-- my coworker rushes to the lunchroom and notices my bag missing. She calls me, and we watch the tape.

What. The. Hell. 

I called the police to report my missing property, and even though I have the scooter bitch on tape, and my coworker acting as a witness, I know that I pretty much have lost everything. My house keys, my car keys, my driver's license, my cell phone, all my I.D., my bus pass, my camera, both credit cards,  a school textbook plus the really amazing book I was reading (The White Tiger). Freaking out only slightly (LIES), my mom came to pick me up, seeing as I had no keys, drivers license or bus pass. I was home for about 5 minutes when the door bell rang. I thought it might be the police, as the officer I spoke to on the phone said that he would stop by for a written report. 

At my front door was a guy who said was asking for me... with my wallet. He said that he had found my wallet tossed in his front yard, his house being  blocks from my work and just in front of an old folks home. Everything was there, except for $45. So stoked. Thank you for mowing your lawn today, dude. You saved me so much money and time replacing all that shit. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

With my wallet now safely in my hands, and the woman's intentions seemingly clearer, my parents decided to act out their untapped-until-now dreams of being private eyes. I stayed home to wait for the cop. From here on, the story is going to be told from what I have been told, I will embellish for fun.

My parental units began their drive with gusto, fancying themselves as Amazing Race contestants, a role they both feel that as a pair they would excel at, as they have both told me numerous times. My father behind the wheel, they drive towards the direction of the guy's house and continue up the street, both watching the other side of the road as they check to see my bag, or a woman on a scooter. They reach the end of the street, to no avail. They decide to pay a visit to the old folks home. Feeling confident in their choice, they stride up the sunny front walk. 

After a bit of prodding, the woman who runs the residence describes the only person living there who runs a scooter. And it's a man. With disappointment, they return to the car. My father decides that they need to try the street again, this time each looking the other side of the street. They are just about to give up, when lo and behold, my purse is spotted hanging from the fence of someone's front yard. Now, my mother strongly stands by the story that someone must have just put it up there as they were at the old folks home, and my father and I keep bugging her that she must have missed it, because it was on her original side. 

I have my bag. Everything is there, except my camera and $45. Which is a huge and major bummer because I love that camera. I just got it for Christmas and it was awesome.  But, on the plus side I didn't need to get new keys made or pay $75 for a new license.

Anyway, that is my exciting news of today and it's long and while I do really enjoy blogging thus far, the longer my posts the more I slow down while writing and the worse the writing style gets and the more boring it is to read and then i just end it awkwardly and abruptly. Like this.

Bye.

Presto Change-o

I'm between semesters and not scheduled at work for this week and thus lazying around doing nothing all day, and its a cross between glorious and horrendous. Currently, I'm wearing jammy pants and a high school field hockey sweatshirt. And covered in Cheetos dust. Yum. Sometimes, my own beauty astounds me. 

The thing is, if not already proven by my total and utter lack of progress today, I really need a change. Like, desperately. The only problem is I have no idea what the change should be or how I should go about achieving it. Because, really, how does one induce life altering changes? I've been told that I need to "welcome change with open arms". Which I am willing to do, but even that moment of "Oh, I see! this is the tipping point of my life altering change, I better make the correct decision here!" is a hard one to pinpoint and even experience, and thus far, I have yet to encounter it. Plus, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll just miss it entirely and only in retrospect realize that it was in fact, the moment of truth.  Sheesh. Not only that, but the actual change itself is still undetermined. New friends? New job? New location? What? What? What?

The thing is, I can talk myself out of all these changes. 

New friends? Easy. I have two really fantastically amazing best friends (who don't even know I have a blog so I'm not just sucking up to them here) that make me not want new friends. I can go out with them and not talk to anyone the entire time, essentially be in a bubble, and have a fantastic day.  We spend a good amount of time on a couch watching TV or just talking and that alone can be time well spent. I am a firm believer that quality is better than quantity and since I already have the cream of the crop, I can snuff the option of new friends as my change easily. Then there's the subheading of new friends: boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend and because of this its a little bit scary. This option is actually the only thing that my being open and welcoming to might help. But still, that isn't something I can just look around for, so again easily skippable.

New job is one that has been the forerunner for about a month now. I used to really like my job, I've been there for three years, so that's really saying something, and the pay is really really good for part time retail work, and for the most part I really like the people and the work is easy enough. But lately, along with some conflicts, scheduling and otherwise, I just haven't been enjoying it. The management team has been in the process of an entire turnover and I just don't like the changes that are being made within the store. It's not fun anymore and I think that as a change it might be the baby step in the right direction. So, easy, right? Get a new job!

But then, as anticipated, I can turn around and talk myself out of this one too:

-The pay is good, I won't find anything better. 

-I like the people. 

-I like my discount (50%). 

New location. This one is far reaching and seemingly impossible. I have less money than I have in years (thanks, trip to Mexico, tickets to various concerts over the summer, and summer camping trip) but I have never as much as I do now want to move out. It would be a good solid change that would pretty much cover everything single aspect of my life. Buuuuttttt it's totally and completely impossible, plus I have school and stuff and that would mean I would have to work more and that would mean I wouldn't study as much and then I would drop out of school and become a prostitute and get a terrible disease and die. Or something along those lines. 

I know that to make these things happen, i need to take the plunge. Nothing in my life has ever been scary or foreign. I have always known my next move, never had to worry about what I'm doing or thinking or feeling because it has been mapped out. Not to say that I am one of those people whose parents have a strict path to follow, just that it's always been easy and available. Go to school. Get a job. But I think to finally achieve this change that I crave, I need to spend some time being scared. Spend some time in unchartered territory. Take the road less travelled. And now, that I've exhausted the metaphors, I think I'll go look for job openings. Or watch the deliciously horrible new 90210. Either or.

Maybe I'll blog again soon. Two days in a row, is a pretty good start, right?

Start.

I've decided to give this blogging thing a try.

Ominous words, I know.

I don't really have anything important to say, I don't have arty things to showcase, I don't have music to promote, I don't have step-by-step tutorials to inspire craftiness. I don't even have an adorable kitten or baby to invoke the "aww"s. Maybe as this progresses, I will find a niche, or something. Until then, all I have is words and my elementary school aspirations to be an author which were somewhat snuffed in later years. It's a good thing no one will read this. 

That is until I find my niche and blow up and become an internet sensation. Joking. Maybe. 

So, me. Let's see. Well, I'm a poet, as proven by those two sentences. I'm in my second year of college and should be transferring to university within the next couple semesters. Right now, I want to go into elementary education and unfortunately I have absolutely nothing to say about myself anymore-- and so here it is, folks, the 25 things facebook meme that I did ages ago copy and pasted into my blog:

1) Until recently, i had all the magazines i had ever bought since 1999 in my closet. That includes 4 subscriptions. I went through them all, ripped all the important stuff out and glued it into a notebook.

2) 70% of my clothes are thrifted. ( I actually did a test on this- i pulled 10 things out of the dryer just now and 7 were secondhand-yay for legitimacy!)

3) I played on a volleyball team in grade 7. No joke.

4) I also was in a choir. If you know me, you know how difficult (and painful) this is to imagine.

5) My mom taught me how to handwrite in 2nd grade, only to have Mrs. Cameron tell me i was doing my o's, f's and z's wrong. I told her that was how i handwrote. She called my mom in for a meeting to discuss my "unruly ways". i was a rebel, what can i say?

6) When my grandfather came to Canada he added the E into my last name. It was STRMANN before, which is just illogical.

7) I never ever ever paid for a pokemon card, instead getting people's doubles and trading for other stuff.

8) I went to German school for 6 years. 

9) I hated the Spice Girls.

10) Someone on my street had a HUGE wood cutout of a grey cat nailed to the side of their garage when i was a kid. Like it was actually like 12 feet tall plywood cat, with painted eyes, and painted whiskers. We thought was weird at the time, but in retrospect was really really really weird.

11) I woudn't wear jeans until grade 4, because they were uncomfortable and had no stretch. Dresses took even longer.

12) I was terrified of skin cancer when i was 11, and we went to Mexcio for a week. I didnt think the sunscreen would protect me efficiently, so i did the logical thing, wore a long sleeve to cover my arms and back... the only thing i had was a polar fleece. I got heat stroke and threw up all over the back of a cab on the way back to the hotel. My dad tipped him very handsomely, and i was stuck in the hotel room for three days, where i was safe from skin cancer.

13) Every morning of grade 12, i was woken up by my father tickling my foot and saying "Wakey wakey wakey" in an annoying high pitched voice. I don't know how this started.

14) I was in a elite spy group, YPPS (the letters dont stand for anything, its just SPY backwards with an extra P to confuse people and throw them off the trail that we were a spy group). We ran around the neighbourhood and took notes on the happenings. We had meetings in my giant purple playhouse.

15) Chocolate cookie dough is the greatest soccer play of all time. Okay, maybe not, but the code name is.

16) I saw Chicago in London with Brooke Shields, and am HORRIFIED that Ashlee Simpson has been involved in that.

17) People said I looked like Ashlee Simpson pre-nose job. As we have the same nose apparently, i take offense to the nose job. That was a lot of Ashlee hate there, wasnt there? Let's continue on that strain... Bronx Mogwli is a really ugly name for a baby. Ha!

18) I was going to be name Aja (pronounced ASIA) for the Steely Dan song.

19) i needed stiches across my forehead when i was like 16 month old. I was dancing and lost balance and smashed my head against the fire place. I never danced well again.

20) I have never seen a Harry Potter film, much to the frustration of my friends.

21) I have never been further east than Alberta, and going down the coast ive done: washington, oregon, california, mexico. 

22) i like to have the windows open when i drive.

23) I talk in my sleep. Lots.

24) I don't really know how to apply eyeliner. Or do my hair. It's always a crapshoot.

25) I LOVE board games.

Me, summarized and put into a nice little box. Let's see how long this lasts.